I was talking to a friend about how you need to prioritize your lady friends.  She asked simply:

“How do you do it?”

I explained to her it is very similar to the seating on a 747 Jet and I thought I would share that concept with you guys, so you can make sure you have your females seated properly on the “Pimp Plane”.

1-      1^st Class

Use this as a barometer; say you have 100 ladies on your blackberry messenger (Team Blackberry).  You get pulled over and have five unpaid parking tickets in whatever town, city or county you are in.

They take you to jail and tell you that you have a $1000 bond and $500 of it has to be paid in the next three hours or you are going upstairs in the country blues with the killers.

Frantically you send out a broadcast message to your 100 ladies asking to be bailed out. 

 How many of that 100 without asking questions or even asking for the money back would hustle up that $500 to get you out?

Those are the ladies who should be seating in 1^st class.  Getting the good drinks with the comfortable seats and the better in flight movie.  The ones who you should be paying attention to, keeping in touch with and not taking for granted.

There are good women of all races out there.  If you find a good woman either as a friend or a lover treat her accordingly because she deserves it.

Actually while writing this I just thought of a 1^st class lady I haven’t been in touch with I am about to tell her how much I appreciate her.

2-      Economy Class

Now these are the type of women who may not have come up with the entire $500, but might have put a $250 toward it if you signed a promissory note.

They are close to 1^st class, but there is something minor that won’t allow you to upgrade them.

Maybe they have a boyfriend, they have a few too many nohotendencies, and you have seen them play other dudes before.  Whatever the reason they have a red flag that would need to be corrected before they could come to first class.

They are cool when you bring them drinks on the plane you allow them to keep the can.  You hook them up with an extra pillow, so they are comfortable.

Nothing wrong with Economy chicks just needs to keep a watchful eye out on them.

3-      Coach

These types of women would have told you:

“I can get the $500 by Friday.”

Unfortunately though you were locked up on Monday.  The majority of Coach Chicks are nohos which means they are hustlers, so you have to put them in their place which is the back of the plane.

They are good to break lamps with and they know how get low at the club, but they don’t get to keep the can of soda and you need to put a lot of ice in their cup.  Keep them at a distance and never catch feelings.

Don’t spend your hard earn cash on females in coach.  They only get one pack of honey roasted nuts.

4-      StandBys

The type of female who two weeks after you were locked up leaves you this message:

“You still in jail?”

Basically if you allow a standby on your pimp plane that means you are desperate or someone in coach decided another man has upgraded her to 1^st class on different flight (silly guy) and you have room to allow someone on.

You know you shouldn’t even be dealing with a standby.  She isnt’ good for you and there is a reason she isn’t on the plane (she stabbed her last boyfriend).  But you keep her around just in case because sometimes you just need someone to fill a seat.

*******

So remember Fellas always be aware of who you are allowing on your Pimp Plane and make sure they are seated accordingly.  That way you assure yourself a safe flight and some Mile High Club Lamp Breaking.

The Dean is out, class dismissed.

Nothing worse than “Fake Thugs”.

Thomas Bruso aka Epic Beard Man gave a lesson to all “Fake Thugs” in the world with his beatdown of “Tyrone” on an Oakland transit bus (this had to happen in Oakland right?).

Here are the best videos and pics from the incident.

Which included classic lines like:

“I am the M*therF*cker”

“We can press charges I got it on tape”

and the now infamous:

“CALL THE AMBER LAMPS”

Here is the full clip in it’s entirety

Here is the classic Mortal Kombat clip:

Here is the rock music video:

Here is a video of the incident with Subtitles:

Here is the Keyboard Cat version:

Rap version of the Beatdown:

Here is Tyrone scared as hell after he gets beat down.

Lyann Washington the woman who tape the fight and stole the bag:

Can’t forget about Amber Lamps:

Now while I think Tyrone needed his ass kicked I wouldn’t advise white people to get bold and start arguing with brothers on the bus. Just a PSA.

Thomas Bruso also goes by “Tom Slick” or “Vietnam Tom”

Here is the situation.

You have met the perfect young lady, but there is one small problem.

She considers you just a “buddy” and you are stuck in the dreaded:

FRIEND ZONE

There are people who will tell you once you get caught in the “Friend Zone” there are no ways out.  Luckily for you that is what the Dean of NoHology is for. 

I can pull you out of that black hole, but you have to pay attention, do exactly what I say and you will be “breaking lamps” with your “buddy’ soon enough.

First let me go over some things that can help you avoid getting caught in the “Friend Zone” in the first place.

1-      Always make it known you want to sleep with your friend.

There is a fine line with this because you don’t want to come off as an a**hole, but I don’t care what any woman tells you, they like being wanted even if they don’t want you.  Just make it known that while you are their “friend” if the opportunity came up you would break their lamps with no hesitation.

2-      Don’t act like a woman

I know you think you “smart” by appealing to her “Sex in the City” side, but women want men, not men who engage in beauty salon talk.  Man up.

3-      Tell the truth

Men lie because they think women will like them more if they are agreeable.  So when I woman tells them a sob story about the man who did them wrong, the natural reaction is to just agree with them and bashed the dude.

Let me tell you something the chances of the woman leaving that man and falling head over heads in love with you are slim and none.

Be real with the situation if your “female friend”  is a noho tell her.  If she is being delusional about a man tell her.  She might get mad, but she will respect you aren’t a bathwaterslurper.

–

Now since you are reading this just today, you are probably already stuck in the “friend zone”, but don’t fret I am about to explain to you how to get your get out of jail free card.

The reason she has you in the “Friend Zone” is because she doesn’t see your potential as a lamp breaker.  You are like a puppy, just someone to talk to when she dealing with real dogs.

*wait*

I said:

“You are like a puppy, just someone to talk to when she dealing with real dogs”

Sorry but that is damn good analogy.  Anyway there is only one thing you can do to change this perception:

SMASH THE HOMIES!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes I am advocating sleeping with one of her friends.  It doesn’t have to be her best friend actually it would be better if it is a friend she doesn’t really like (be careful though if she hates her too much, the betrayal will be too much and destroy any chances you have of lampbreaking).

Since you are in the “Friend Zone” you should already know which one of her friends is the most vulnerable and that is the one you need to focus on.

Do not play around with the friend your goal is to “Smash the Homie” not to get into another “Friend Zone” situation.  Invite her out to drinks and make your intentions known.  She might say something like:

“But what about *insert girl name here*”

You answer should be simply:

“She and I are just friends, she would tell you that, but I’ve been attracted to you for awhile.”

Followed by another shot.

Here is the part you simply cannot mess up.  When you “Smash the Homie” you have to smash her well.  I mean lamps, curtains, headboards, clock radios and anything else you can find has to be broken.

Afterwards you have to turn cold and act like nothing happened.  The reason is if the “Homie” thinks there is a chance for relationship then your “Friend Zone” girl might feel like “matchmaker” and that isn’t want we want.  You might have to be a bit of a “DOG” about it, but that is better than being a “puppy” forever.

Do not and I repeat do not tell your “friend zone” girl that you “Smashed the Homies”.

The “Smashed Homie” becomes your vessel.

She will tell your “Friend Zone” girl all the nasty details of your one night stand.  At this point the “Friend Zone” girl will be thinking these exact thoughts.

“Why didn’t he tell me?  Does he like her more than he likes me?  Does he think she is prettier than me?  I didn’t know he could do that with his tongue.  Wow she had three orgasms?”

You will get a call from your “Friend Zone” girl to come over and talk. 

When she breaches the fact you “Smashed the Homies” she might be mad, she might be curious, she might act indifferent or all of the above, but play it cool.

When she starts asking questions, be very nonchalant about it.  At some point she is going to get frustrated and that is when you:

SMASH THE FRIEND ZONE!!!!!

Mission accomplished.

This has been another Dean of Nohology production.

Sidenote

Even if you don’t get out of “Friend Zone” at least you:

SMASHED THE HOMIES!!!!!!!!!

From the time I saw Petey Pablo video “Freek A Leak” I was hooked on Esther Baxter. I have met her a few times, very nice and surprisingly intelligent young lady.

She is definitely on the Break Lamps Hall of Fame wall. More importantly even when not all “made up” she is still gorgeous and that is hard to come by these days.

She was in Miami for the Super Bowl and definitely still on the top of her game. Here are some pics from here in ATL.

Here name is Anna Perret she is 18 years old and is from Amsterdam.

She doesn’t have much of an “Applebottom”, but she is drop dead gorgeous even if barely legal (no R Kelly).

As you know AppleBottom is Saint Louis Rapper Nelly’s designer jeans. Originally it was targeted more to the chocolate ladies, but it appears he wants to diversify his brand to all 31 Female Flavors, so what do you think?

With Super Bowl weekend over and NBA All-Star weekend upcoming nohoism is in full effect. You could say that the Super Bowl weekend was like the playoffs for nohos and All-Star is the Championship.

If you aren’t an athlete, entertainer, musician or etc it could be hard getting your noho on Fellas, but I am going to give you some tips that can help you break lamps daily.

1- Know Your Lane

My philosophy on women is that no woman is unattainable, but when you are dealing with short period of time you have to quickly identify which type of women you should focus on.

Here is a quick scale to help you out:

A- The Elite Noho

She only deals with the athletes and entertainers, so if she can’t find your salary online good luck.

B- The Wannabe Elite Noho

She sees this as her time to step up to elite nohoism has realized the “Groupie Status” isn’t where it is at, so she has moved up a level.

C- The Groupie

She wants to be in the Elite status, but just doesn’t know how, so she is more of a hanger on hoping she gets swooped up.

D- The Party Girls

Just wants to have fun. Not that interested in finding a “baller” per se, but more interested in being at the hottest events and having a good time.

E- The Friend

She is the one who has been normally just sits in the house all the time, but her girlfriends have drugged her out to “have some fun”.

Now depending on what type of guy you are, you can focus which type of female will be available. Now you can always lie to puff up your resume even though we preach truth around these parts.

In general you want to focus on the Party Girls, but if you have any type of status and your pimp focus is strong you can pull groupies and wannabe elite nohos. Be careful with “The Friend” she is normally the most “girlfriendish” of the crew, but it make take all weekend to get her naked and even then it is 50/50.

2- If you want to make it Rain have an umbrella

A lot of men believe flashing cash will immediately draw the intention of women. The premise of that is correct, but it is the type of women that can be a problem.

It is very common to get hustle at these types of events. I saw a dude spend at least $200-300 on drinks for a woman and her friends at Super Bowl only to see that same woman walk out with another guy who didn’t spend a dime.

Don’t jeopardize your savings over a woman, it isn’t worth it.

Cash is not the only way to show “Status”. Don’t let your ego get the best of you. Let me give you an example.

Say there is a hot club event going on. You get there, but line around the block, but they are saying you can get in for $200.

No club is worth paying $200 for, it makes you look like a groupie. VIPs don’t pay. I haven’t paid to get in a Club since 2007. I didn’t buy one drink while I was in Miami and trust me I was liquored up. Do some research find out how you can get on “VIP” lists (it isn’t as hard as you think) and use your social networks.

You will come back with more money in your pocket and still get the same results.

3- Be Honest

First read this:

How to Pick Up Women In the Club

When I say be honest what I am saying is whatever you want out of the situation you need to let the young ladies know. These are time sensitive situations with a lot of competition.

The example I always use is Eddie Murphy in 48 Hours.

Murphy ends up at a club and he meets this young lady. They have a good time and then Eddie cuts to the chase and says he has been in jail and he needs to break lamps. Straight to the point.

If you coming down to those events with that in mind, don’t BS around just tell them because it is likely they are thinking the same thing. If the say no, don’t get mad “On to the Next One”.

4- Don’t be a male groupie

I don’t care if the person makes 100 million a year and you make $12,000 a year you are both men and men should not be groupies to other men.

Two reasons why this is problematic:

A- Women hate to see men more excited about seeing their favorite athlete/entertainer than them.

B- It’s just weird.

5- Don’t be Hater man

You know the type always complaining about the chicks, the athletes, the entertainers, the hotel, the food and etc.

Hate stems from jealousy.

The two main things men are jealous of?

Women & Money

So when you mix in highly paid men with blue collar men sometimes it could be an explosive situation when egos get out of control.

Don’t be that guy, it isn’t worth it.

–

Most importantly just have a good time, don’t let anything stress you and be yourself. Everything should work out fine and you will be breaking lamps to the sun comes up.

“Dead Lay” Kim K.

Bwahahahahaha!!! I can’t help but laugh. The other day I was sent the Kim Kardashian sex tape, again Bwahahahahaha. Any time I see her name my first thought is “Dead Lay” and “Poor Reggie”. My heart goes out to him for a few reasons. (Bwahahahahaha)  Now don’t get this wrong, I’m not just writing something to bash Kim K. but to bring focus to women and men who just cannot let themselves go so that they can receive the ultimate satisfaction.

“Dead Lay” as described in the Urban Dictionary: 

1. “A girl that doesn’t moan or scream while having sex. Makes the guy do all the work”
2. Someone (male or female) that is so bad at sex you may as well be fucking a corpse, although a corpse may sometimes be more lively

Now breaking it down further (my preferred description):

1. Female dead lays: from beginning to end, she just lays there, no expression or movement, unless it’s that of boredom. You may want to check in between to see if she’s awake.
2. Male dead lays: Usually those that are too lazy to put any effort into it. Kind of like a quickie, but with only one person putting any effort into it.

Surprisingly, ‘dead lays’ don’t feel they are missing out on anything. The satisfaction they are receiving to them is probably what it could or should be. (poor things) There are many reasons why people are dead lays like religious, guilt, shyness, fear etc. For most men aside for just being lazy or tired, some feel superior like a king to have someone cater and please them. There’s always the ‘dominatrix’ aspect which is pure ecstasy for some.

There is nothing wrong with being a “dead lay” Sometimes, but definitely not all the time.  So for those who need to let go, it first starts mentally. You have to relax your mind (even through meditation) so that your body is willing to accept and feel the sensation of what you are totally receiving. It can also be discover through masturbation. If you can master the mind and body together you will find that just using your mind ‘Alone’ can take you to the “Big O” (orgasm).

Even if you are still having a hard time with this my best advice then is to Move Your Body! Don’t be embarrassed thinking you look silly or are doing it wrong. Trust me, the man doesn’t see it as looking silly. It doesn’t matter how you do it, but once you moving your body you will discover pleasure spots that will cause to move more. Before you know it, you and your partner will be moving and working in synchronized harmony. Whooooooooo!!!

Now for those who didn’t see the lovely (booorrring) Kim K and Ray J sex tape you can take a look here. To be fair to Kim, it looks like she was moaning but I didn’t see her raise her huge ass one time to meet Ray J’s thrust. Ray J appeared to be trying to work his little program (when he wasn’t watching for the red light on the camera). And the point where he took it out and put it in her mouth… aaahhh (Kanye voice) Imma let that go cuz I’m talkin too much, LOL. 

http://www.xvideos.com/video258974/kim_kardashian_sextape

In 2010 my goal is for the Fellas to unite and do better.  In reality we are all brothers, but we have some things we need to clear up and that is where I come in.

  Here are 5 things men need to do better in 2010.

1-      Stop being hypocrites when it comes to cheating.

I call this “Best Man Syndrome”.

In the movie The Best Man the Morris Chestnut character cheated on his fiancé often, but as soon as she cheated on him (with his Best Man) he mentally had a break down.

We have to grow up.

If you are cheating on your chick don’t be shocked she is cheating on you.

If she is cheating on you, don’t blame the other dude or her, blame yourself. 

Now if you have been faithful that is a different story, but if you haven’t you can’t be a hypocrite about the situation.

You need to man up and either forgive her or let her go.  Don’t hold it against her or look down on her because then you should be looking down on yourself.

If you forgive her, never speak on it or bring it up.

2-      Stop lying

First off men are bad liars and secondly lies pile on top of each.  Men lie to women to try to break lamps with them or to make sure they don’t know who they are breaking lamps with.  They also lie just to lie.

We need to stop that.  The truth is better and I will tell you why.

If you want to have sex with a woman just tell her, all she can say is no.  But you will be shocked how many will say yes.

You have to be polite about it, use some common sense and feel out the situation, but if that is what you want to do just let her know.  It takes the guessing game out of the situation.

This is especially handy if you are spending cash.

Before you fly some chick half way around the country to see you or you go visit someone, you must get the guarantee.

If the young lady is “unsure” at least you can make an inform decision.  Don’t spend cash on “hope”.  You will end up being a broke lonely brother.  Sometimes the chick will even tell you what needs to get done to close “deal”.

Also if you lie to women to sleep with them it will only lead to more drama down the road. 

If you are honest no drama, no stress.

3-      Condoms are our friends

Let me preface this by saying if you have a baby by a woman regardless of what your situation is with that woman be a father to your child.

There is no worse dude on the planet than the guy who is impregnating multiple women and not trying to have any relationship with his children.  Don’t be that dude.

Now with that being said men we need to be extremely careful who we are having unprotected sex with.

Condoms are $8

The alternative is if you get a young lady pregnant who you have no intentions of being with is 25% of your gross income.  Not to mention the various diseases floating around.

I majored in Journalism not math, but $8 sounds better than 25% of my income.

In 2010 just wrap it up.

4-      Face>>>Ass.. not the other way around

I blame Buffy the Body for this.  In the last few years if you are a female as long as you had a big ass your face could like Plies and men would slurp  all over you.

That has to change in 2010.

Remember when you wake up in the morning you turn over to the face not the ass.

Simply put if her ass is he best quality then that should be a red flag.  We need to put an emphasis back on the total package fellas.

I am talking about about pretty face, nice frame, proportion body and just a well rounded young lady.

When you are out with your lady people should be like:

“Lucky guy she is beautiful”

Not:

“Damn she got a phat ass.”

More attention for young ladies that look like this:

Less attention for young ladies that look like this:

The  “TOTAL PACKAGE” is what is hot in 2010.

5-      Stop fighting each other

Men get in trouble because of three things:

Women, Money & Ego

Not in that particular order.  The reason men have so many issues is because we are always infighting between each other.

As I stated above we are all brothers the last thing we need is to be killing each other off.

Not saying you have to be a punk, but you only have one life, so you need to be very careful what type of altercations and situations you put yourself as a man.

There are many men like myself that can’t just think about themselves, but have to put their children first. 

Trust me my daughter has probably saved me for entering into situations I knew weren’t the most safe just because I didn’t want to risk it.

Just think before you act.

–

2009 was a rough year for the fellas, but don’t worry we are resilient 2010 we going to turn it around.

The million dollar question:

WHY DO MEN CHEAT??

I have the answer ladies, so I suggest you take out your pad and pen because I am about to save some relationships (or destroy some, but I digress).

Here are the reasons men cheat:

1-      Lack of attention

When a woman wants a man she is willing to do a lot of things to get him. 

One of the things she does?

FREAK IN THE BEDROOM

She is giving it up and she is rocking his world.  Many lamps are broken in the process.  Because of that interaction among other things the man falls “Balls Deep In Love” with the woman.

Some women though after they have captured the man all of sudden don’t feel the urge to give up the cookies so freely.

Even when she does it definitely isn’t as exciting as it once was.

Before, she use to come to bed in high heels, Victoria Secret and fully made up, now she comes to bed in a head scraf and t-shirt.

Those are the lucky guys.  Some guys don’t get any lamp breaking action from their females at all.

Men are not that dissimilar from women in regards to needing attention from their significant other.  If they aren’t getting that attention or more importantly they aren’t getting those lamps broke no matter how good the man is he will start to search out women who will give him that attention.

And are more than willing to break furniture at the Model 6 to give it to your man.

2-      They get tired of eating chicken

There are women who even after getting with their man “Break Lamps” game is outstanding so no complaints there.

The problem is some men just get tired of being with the same woman day after day, week after week and year after year.

Chicken might be your favorite food, but after two years of eating it straight and someone offers you a juicy steak you might partake even if you know it is bad for you.

How can woman stop this from happening?

Spice up that chicken from time to time. There are many different ways to cook chicken you need to master each one.

3-      The Incredible Hulk

All men have a beast inside of us.  We are predators by nature and our prey of choice is female.

Similar to Bruce Banner to stay faithful we have to control our inner Hulk, because when the Hulk gets out normally:

HULKS SMASH

You will notice a lot of “faithful” men are homebodies.  The reason being if you go outside there are women who will bring out the Hulk in them.

There is no such thing as a man who is incapable of cheating.

Smart men don’t put themselves in position to where they have to make that choice.  It is in our DNA to want to Break Lamps with as many women as possible.  It is our top head that keeps us from just jumping on everything that moves. 

Alas there are some men who just think with there bottom head.

4-      Nohos

There are a portion of women in our society who are attracted to breaking lamps with other women boyfriends and husbands.

Maybe it is an ego thing; maybe they just get a kick out of it, but whatever the reason they are very good at helping along the cheating process.

Men by nature are barely holding it together in regards to not cheating, so it isn’t difficult for men to be swayed by a noho especially one who are willing to do things maybe wifey stop doing a very long time ago.

5-      Because They Can

I have had many friends past, present and I am sure in the future who love their significant others very much, but still cheat on them all the time.

The reason is simple they just don’t care.  No crazy theories or rationale they just don’t care. Women are available to them and they choose to partake in the “female buffet”.

In a lot of these cases one of the first four reasons started them off, but once they got started they could never stop.

Cheating is like being a thief.

When you get away with robbing one bank you don’t just retire you go rob more banks.  Once you have robbed so many banks you start to feel invincible.

Even when men get caught if the judge (the woman) puts them on probation (take them back) they just figure out ways to be better at cheating.

Even when the judge (the woman) sends them to jail (the break up) at this point it isn’t a matter of if they will cheat again it is will they get caught with the next woman.

—

People ask this question all the time:

“Once a man starts cheating can he ever stop?”

My answer is always the same.  Bruce Banner can go years without the Hulk coming out, but once it is let out once there is always a chance it will come out again.

If you want to keep your man’s Inner Hulk from coming out here are my suggestions:

1- Be a freak in the bed often and keep that chicken spicy

2- Be aware of the places he is going (if he is a clubber, strip clubs, late night party guy & etc he probably a cheater).

3- Be of aware his female friends (A lot of times that is just a “cover story”).

4- Create reasons why he should stay at home (learn to like what he likes sports, video games or whatever).

5- If he cheats drop him and don’t look back.  If he cheats once and you take him back he will cheat again.

What is ironic when I posted a picture of Reggie Bush on the cover of Essence shirtless on BlackSportsOnline I did it because I thought women would like it.  Little did I know the controversy it would start.

I have Google alerts set up so I know any time people are talking about me or any of my various projects (you will be shocked how many people mention break lamps and nohos in a day).

In is very rare that a twitter conversation sets off an alert, but after the very long debate on the plight of the black women sparked by the Reggie Bush cover (Essence is a black woman magazine and many black women did not like the fact that the Bush was selected for the cover because he isn’t dating a black woman and the issue was on Black Love).

As the alerts kept coming in one thing became clear I was being portrayed as a:

“Sexiest misogynist black woman hating a-hole”

Instead of trying to answer every black woman as a whole I have decided to write my dissertation on Black Women.

I ask you to read with an open mind and feel free to make comments below.

1-      Love should have no race attached to it.

It was just how I was raised.  That love is color blind hence the phrases like “Black Love” has no meaning to me, but I think when black women say “black love” what they really mean is:

“Black Men have hate for Black Women, so we need more black love.”

I get that.

Black men who look down upon black women or think that dating/marrying women of a different race somehow makes them “better” have serious self esteem issues.

What those black men are saying is that they “hate themselves”.  It more about the fact they don’t like what they see in the mirror and the project that attitude toward black women.

Unfortunately there are a lot of black men that feel that way, but I would counter that there are many more black men even if they do date outside their race do not do it as a slap in the face to black women, but like me they just like dating hot women regardless of color.  If she is black great, if she is something else that is great to as long as she is nice and attractive.

Don’t let a few bad apples spoil the whole bunch.

2-      Black Men shouldn’t be punished for trying the women buffett

This isn’t something I feel is exclusive to black men, but people in general.   In some countries they have arrange marriages, now think to yourself how you would feel if your mate was already predetermined.

Some black men feel if they don’t date black women specifically that will be branded as the black man who turned his back on his race or who hates and devalues black women.

As I stated before there are black men who deserve this title, but for the ones who don’t it is a terrible burden to bear.

Some black men just like women.  Doesn’t matter the race, because the only race that matters to me is the “Fine Race”.

No one should be told what preference they should have and shouldn’t be stereotype for whatever that preference is.

The only loyalty a black man should have in regardless to his relationships is to be the best man he can be to whoever he chooses to be with.

If black women choose to narrow there search to just black men that is fine, but don’t hold that against the black man who doesn’t do the same.  That simply isn’t fair.

As I stated on Twitter.  Just because I sample the women buffet table and you just want to eat chicken don’t be mad at me when I am full and you still are hungry because all the chicken has run out.

3-      Why do you care who anyone dates?

Regardless if a black man doesn’t date black women because he hates them, he prefers others or he just happen to meet someone that wasn’t black why do you care?

I remember I was out with some buddies at Hooters once.  I very attractive black woman walked in with a man who look just like Kevin Ferderline.

Immediately my friends were up in arms.

“How dare that black woman be with that white man there must be something wrong with her.”

I am calmly turned to them and simply said:

“Why do you care and why does something have to be wrong with her?”

The point I am making is worry about your own relationships and don’t make blanket assumptions on others.

Just because someone dates outside of their race doesn’t make them an alien or someone who hates their race.

Even if it did, it isn’t any of your business.

People in general are nosey and like to pass judgments.  If they worried as much about uplifting themselves as oppose to downgrading others they will be in a better place. This isn’t just a black woman problem but a societal problem.

Worry about yourself not what the next person is doing.

4-      The Mirror doesn’t lie

The statistics say 42% of black women are not married.

So understandably people want to know why.

The convenient excuse is “the black man” or a “lack of good black men”.

They are waiting for their perfect black man, but alas there aren’t that many around they say.

I don’t knock preference.  If as a black woman you want to married a black man more power to you.  Far be it for me to say you have to date outside of your race, not my place.  If you want to wait for that perfect black man I wish you luck, but I am going to let you in on a secret.

Whereas I am sure the main preference of a lot of black men is to have a black woman in the interim they will have no problem dealing with a white, Spanish, Asian, Karadashian or blue avatar woman.

And if any of the above treat them well they will wife them up and never look back.

The first thing people should do not just black women,  when trying to figure out why they are single, in a bad relationship or not married should do is look in the mirror.

During my twitter debate over 100 black women chimed in (I went back in counted) and some of them I know personally.  While they were taking shots at black men some failed to mention the following:

A-     One only dates athletes.

B-      One says she can’t date a man making less than 100gs a year.

C-      One goes to the club every Friday/Saturday 52 weeks in a row.

D-     One proclaims loudly she has cheated on former boyfriends.

E-      One claims to be a feminist, but openly admits should would sleep with rappers if approached.

F-      One is dating a married man.

G-     One has a bi sexual girlfriend she doesn’t want to give up.

I could go on, but you get my point.  The thing is I don’t knock any of those things.

Once again if you want a 100g man or a NFL player more power to them, because it is their preference, but don’t complain about the plight of black women when the reason you are in the situation you are in is because of you and you only.

As a black man I have more “built in” excuses than any race male or female in the world.  You know how many times black men are told they can’t do something because they are “black”.

If as man I fed into all of that negativity and blame game it would be impossible to be a success in our society.

Racism is real, just like ignorant self hating black men are real in regards to how they treat and feel about black women, but you can’t use that as an excuse for the failures in your relationships.

Don’t focus on what black men can do better, let him worry about himself.  Worry about you being the best person you can and you won’t have to look for happiness, happiness will find you.

5-      This isn’t a war

Someone asked me this and I skirted around answering it because it didn’t have anything to with the point I was trying to make , but I think it is important to talk about now.

The question was if two women were equal in every way and one was black and one was white which one would I choose.

The answer is easy.

100 times out of 100 times I would choose the black woman.

But that is hypothetical situation that can never happen because no two women are created equal.

So you just have to go with your gut feeling and it is easier to do that when you don’t feel pressure one way or another.

I am very careful on how I speak on issues like that.  Very careful not to be disrespectful or call anyone out of their name (even though shockingly women have no problem calling me a lot of things).  This isn’t a war and I am not trying to be insensitive to the feelings of black women.  My daughter is black and I would never want someone disrespecting her because of her race or devaluing her.

But I try to teach her that value and self worth comes from within not what some man thinks.

I apologize for all the horrible black men that are out there.  If I could I would beat them all down for you.

I apologize for all the nohos that are giving black women a bad name.

Sometimes when I tweet or write I am so focus on bring attention to some of the foolish things some black women do I forget to also focus on the many positive things black women do.

I understand it is hard.  All I have to do is look at my boys and how they treat women to understand it definitely can seems like dire straits in regards to black men/women relations, but it won’t get better if we continue to blame and fight with each other about something as trivial as what race we are dating.

It is a known fact that almost all my major accomplishments have been assisted by the help women and more times than not black women.

So I don’t want the reputation of being a “black woman hater” because that isn’t the case.

I am an honest person and maybe to a fault very blunt and direct.  To the point sometimes my thoughts come off as harsh and insensitive.  Especially in a social medium such as twitter where you can’t write a 2000 words article to explain everything you say.

If there is one thing I wish I could go back and change is when I said:

“I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE PLIGHT OF THE BLACK WOMAN.”

It isn’t that I don’t care, because there are real issues out there for black woman that definitely need to be address. Real serious issues and some of those issues are because of black men.  I am not naive I understand that.

What I don’t approve of are black women who blame there every problem on black men, because I don’t believe black men can be used as a crutch for every problem of the black woman.

I find it hard to believe that black women would not agree with me on that point.

I have my philosophies and my opinions, but none of it is based off hate, but based off trying to bring people to a truly color blind society.

That might be an impossible goal, but for the sake of our future as black men and black women I hope that isn’t the case.