Recently someone on twitter asked me a simple question:
“Robert what is a bathwaterslurper?”
My answer was simple and to the point.
When a woman tells a guy to “jump” his response is to hire “Kriss Kross”.

The “Bathwaterslurping” epidemic is infecting more men than the “Swine Flu” so it is my job as the Dean of Nohology to educate you on the two different versions of Slurpers that are in our society. You might want to take notes.
1- The Male on Female Slurping
This is the most common bathwaterslurper. Let me be clear …

For a long time my “Pimp Focus” was very poor in club type settings and the reason was very simple.
My greatest strengths when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex are my:
Communications Skills
I am an ok looking guy and I am not a baller so if I am getting women it is on the strength of my personality.
The club dilutes that because it is loud, crowded and filled with drunken people so it is very difficult to hold any type of meaningful conversation.
So for years when it came to …

I am a sports journalist, so it isn’t unusual for me to equate matters of the heart with sports analogies. One of my favorites to explain to people, and now to you, is the art of:

“Contract Negotiations”
This is going to be told from a male perspective, but it can apply to anyone because the premise is the same.
When a team has the #1 overall pick in the NFL draft, that team will spend millions of dollars and many hours scouting to make sure their pick will be the one that …

Welcome to 2010: The Age of Ambiguity. Well, in regard to relationships, that is. I recently took an impromptu poll amongst friends in the 21-35 age range and learned something that I’ve suspected for quite some time… None of them are technically in a relationship. Now, don’t get me wrong – all of the people that were polled seem to be in some fascimile of a relationship. If my opinion were asked, I would label them as being in a relationship. In reality? None of these people sat down and …

If you’re like me, you don’t really follow entertainment news, but nowadays it’s nearly impossible not to find yourself bombarded by updates on your current celebrities. You’d have to be living under a rock not to have been paying attention to the latest news break in the entertainment industry… Sandra Bullock has filed for divorce from her husband Jesse James and revealed that three months ago she adopted a baby boy from New Orleans named Louis Bardo Bullock.

It’s taboo in greater society, but we all know that makes it all the more desirable. No, kiddies, I’m not talking about smoking loud packs. Your Auntie Ginger is talking about sex in public places. If you haven’t done it yourself, I’m sure you can think of at least one friend that has. Those 1,000 count sheets and goose down comforters may sound good when you’re ready to hit the hay, but not everyone strictly sticks to the mattresses when getting down and dirty. Whether you’re looking for a little …

We are constantly talking about men cheating (blame Tiger).  I am a realist so I accept the fact the majority people are cheating, but that doesn’t mean it is right, so I am going to give the fellas some tips to how to be in the small percentile of men who don’t cheat:
1-      Stay out of cheating situations
Very hard not to cheat if you are staring at a naked women.  Very hard not to cheat when you continue to flirt with the woman who you know wants to sleep with …

I am a man of logic.  My NoHology teaches two things:
Truth & Common Sense.
An open marriage isn’t truthful and doesn’t make sense.  People who have an open marriage will tell you that what they are doing is being totally and 100% honest with each other.  That the reason they have an open marriage is so there aren’t any secrets.
They are lying to you and to themselves and I will tell you why.
If you really wanted things to be “open” they wouldn’t be married in the first place.
Marriage is a legal …

I was talking to a friend about how you need to prioritize your lady friends.  She asked simply:
“How do you do it?”
I explained to her it is very similar to the seating on a 747 Jet and I thought I would share that concept with you guys, so you can make sure you have your females seated properly on the “Pimp Plane”.
1-      1st Class
Use this as a barometer; say you have 100 ladies on your blackberry messenger (Team Blackberry).  You get pulled over and have five unpaid parking tickets in …

Here is the situation.
You have met the perfect young lady, but there is one small problem.
She considers you just a “buddy” and you are stuck in the dreaded:
FRIEND ZONE
There are people who will tell you once you get caught in the “Friend Zone” there are no ways out.  Luckily for you that is what the Dean of NoHology is for. 
I can pull you out of that black hole, but you have to pay attention, do exactly what I say and you will be “breaking lamps” with your “buddy’ soon enough.
First …