It finally happened. I was conned into watching “The Bucket List.” But it pushed me into contemplating my own life and wondering what I would put on my own bucket list. I already have a regular list of things I plan on doing before I start pushing daisies, so as per usual, my thoughts inevitably turned to sex when I became bored with the film and my own musings. So here it is in its near entirety… my dirty to-do list: 
 

1. IT’S BRITNEY, BITCH… 1, 2, 3. I may as well get the cliched one out of the way. How else could you double your pleasure? I actually don’t even have a preference for either a MMF (male-male-female) or FFM (female-female-male) threesome. The experience of having two people in bed at once has to be one of my more narcissistic ideas, but who doesn’t want all of that attention in the bedroom? Can you imagine the sensory overload of two people licking, sucking, and paying that much attention to the intensity of your orgasm? You know you want to have a threesome now. Admitting it is the first step.  
2. ANNA NICOLE IT UP. That’s right… sex with an older man. I don’t know about working the 70-plus circle like the late great Anna Nicole did, but sex with an older man is definitely something that has appeal. This one is all about quality. This is assuming, of course, that sex with an older man would bring not only more years, but more experience. An older man would have had more years to learn what pleases their partner and would surely be enthusiastic about sharing that experience with a younger partner.
3. SLIPPERY WHEN WET. I’ve had sex outside. I’ve kissed in the rain. I’ve even started things off in a jacuzzi then moved things inside. But I’ve never combined sex and water with the great outdoors. How could I combine these two wonderful sexual mediums? Sex in the rain. Imagine a hot summer night when the skies open up & rain droplets pour over your body, awakening every nerve ending as it glides across your skin. Hands sliding over wet skin, clothes sticking to you, hair soaking wet… Thunder blasting overhead and lightning crackling, igniting every fiber of your being, arm hairs standing on end. Is it the rainy season yet?
4. MONOGAMY – NOT MONOTONY. Sex with the same person daily for one month. Now I know what you’re thinking – “What about when it’s that time of the month?” It’s time to let go of your prehistoric hangups. Surely if you’re going to be having sex with the same person for 28+ days in a row, you could both deal with this issue. Lay down a towel or get in the bathtub for some shower sex. Either way, get over it.
5. SEX IN A GROUP. Let me reiterate… NOT group sex. I’m talking about having sex with one other person in a group setting. If you’ve ever seen “Shortbus” then you know what I’m referring to. The exhibitionist in me revels in the idea of having sex in front of others, of having others watch me and my partner. 
6. YOU TARZAN, ME JANE. Sex swings have always appealed to my inner child. The swing set was my favorite piece of playground equipment – the rush of being high in the air and feeling the breeze caress my face as I swung to and fro was exhilarating. Surely the adult version is just as, if not more exciting.
7. SORRY. I’M TIED UP AT THE MOMENT. I’ll be the first to admit that I am a complete pussy when it comes to pain. But I am more than eager to try out some light bondage in the bedroom. I’ve never been on the receiving end of being trussed up like a holiday ham & it’s high time it happens. At this point in time, I’d like to take the opportunity to point out that bondage is not all about the whips, chains, & handcuffs. Not that there’s anything wrong with that or that I’m emphatically against any of these instruments of pleasure & pain. All you need to engage in some bondage is your bedsheets or some work ties. 
8. I’M READY FOR MY CLOSE-UP. It takes deep trust and a great amount of courage to allow yourself to be filmed during sex. You’ve got to trust your partner enough that he or she won’t be carting the video around, showing it to their buddies, or even putting it on the internet. Once you get beyond your trust issues, you’ll have a nice momento to whip out later for a little… inspiration, shall we say?

What’s made your list? You know you’re frantically thinking of things to add to your own to-do list now, so share them!