I’ve been lucky to be the recipient of good times, great drinks, and even greater love of some amazing men friends. Some I have lost contact with as I’ve run through the years and boyfriends, but as long as I remember, I’ve had a guy friend only a phone call away. They’ve all had different personalities, appearances, characteristics, and always the varying sexualities, but they all have been there for me. Some more than my women friends. This is not unusual. I’m certain you all have friends of the opposite sex and I’m equally certain your significant other has friends of the opposite sex as well. Whether men and women can be friends has been a subject well studied and debated. I can assure you that it won’t be settled today. For the sake of argument, we’ll assume that men and women can be friends. So what do you do, fellas, when you meet a girl and begin dating her only to find out that her best friend is a guy? I’m sure jealousy is an emotion that may pass your mind, but if you act too possessive, you’ll quickly lose her. The first thing you need to do is assess the situation. Go in with a plan. Does this best friend pose a threat to your relationship? More often than not, the potential threat you may perceive is imagined or is not as vital as you think.

As far as I can tell, the thing with my understanding of men is that more often than not, I don’t understand them at all. Especially when it comes down to adding sex to the equation. It seems like the sex always makes one or both of us temporarily insane. There was once a time that I believed I understood the male mind and psyche, but excuse me… I have about as much of a clue as the next card carrying member of the Vagina Force. What I do know, however, is that the male species has much to offer and friendship is one of those precious gems. Often, that potential friendship is only snapped up by girls like me – women that need a low maintenance friend that listens as much as they speak; they need a friend that is kind, funny, and protective. The kind of friend that is perfect boyfriend material, but for one tiny insignificant detail that turns out to be the biggest deal breaker of them all in the end. There has been ZERO chemistry. That “X” factor. The certain something that pulls you in and drives you mad. Some of my men friends I’ve imagined naked, but for the most part, I’d decidedly have to say not. This is where I’ve been told time and again that I’ve gone wrong in the past. Maybe it’s just me, but chemistry is huge. When a guy walks in the room, I want my jaw to drop onto the floor. I want to, within the first .038 seconds of contact, imagine doing dirty things with him without our societal mandated clothing on. That’s what I want and crave. Not surprisingly, that’s what most females want. In turn, if your girl has not already engaged in some down and dirty action with her BGF (best guy friend), it’s highly likely they won’t in the future.

If you haven’t already, you will need to meet your girl’s BGF. It’s the best way to definitively evaluate their relationship and she will expect you to meet her BGF at some point. After all – up until this point, he’s been the most important guy in her life. Remember to keep that jealousy in check – he’s her BGF, so she’ll naturally be accustomed to hugging him and will have a great rapport with him. Try to befriend him yourself. You’ll never reach that same level of, for lack of a better word, intimacy with him that she has, but all the same… keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right? Once you’ve befriended him, she’ll recognize that you’re comfortable with the BGF and will respect you all the more for it. If the BGF makes it a point to continuously be a jerk to you, your girl will recognize this and you’ll look all the better for your efforts.

Once you’ve met the BGF and have established that you’re superior in every way, (as we all know you are), it’s time to let go of any jealousy or worry you have about your girl’s relationship with the BGF and focus on the relationship that really matters – the one between the two of you. Instead of concentrating on whether the BGF has his eye on your girl or not, put your attention on listening to her. Be there for her when she needs you. There’s a reason the BGF is in her life – there’s a void that was not being filled before and he’s filling it. While you’ll never be able to take his place, I’m sure you could at least take on some of his burden.