I was talking to a friend about how you need to prioritize your lady friends.  She asked simply:

“How do you do it?”

I explained to her it is very similar to the seating on a 747 Jet and I thought I would share that concept with you guys, so you can make sure you have your females seated properly on the “Pimp Plane”.

1-      1^st Class

Use this as a barometer; say you have 100 ladies on your blackberry messenger (Team Blackberry).  You get pulled over and have five unpaid parking tickets in whatever town, city or county you are in.

They take you to jail and tell you that you have a $1000 bond and $500 of it has to be paid in the next three hours or you are going upstairs in the country blues with the killers.

Frantically you send out a broadcast message to your 100 ladies asking to be bailed out. 

 How many of that 100 without asking questions or even asking for the money back would hustle up that $500 to get you out?

Those are the ladies who should be seating in 1^st class.  Getting the good drinks with the comfortable seats and the better in flight movie.  The ones who you should be paying attention to, keeping in touch with and not taking for granted.

There are good women of all races out there.  If you find a good woman either as a friend or a lover treat her accordingly because she deserves it.

Actually while writing this I just thought of a 1^st class lady I haven’t been in touch with I am about to tell her how much I appreciate her.

2-      Economy Class

Now these are the type of women who may not have come up with the entire $500, but might have put a $250 toward it if you signed a promissory note.

They are close to 1^st class, but there is something minor that won’t allow you to upgrade them.

Maybe they have a boyfriend, they have a few too many nohotendencies, and you have seen them play other dudes before.  Whatever the reason they have a red flag that would need to be corrected before they could come to first class.

They are cool when you bring them drinks on the plane you allow them to keep the can.  You hook them up with an extra pillow, so they are comfortable.

Nothing wrong with Economy chicks just needs to keep a watchful eye out on them.

3-      Coach

These types of women would have told you:

“I can get the $500 by Friday.”

Unfortunately though you were locked up on Monday.  The majority of Coach Chicks are nohos which means they are hustlers, so you have to put them in their place which is the back of the plane.

They are good to break lamps with and they know how get low at the club, but they don’t get to keep the can of soda and you need to put a lot of ice in their cup.  Keep them at a distance and never catch feelings.

Don’t spend your hard earn cash on females in coach.  They only get one pack of honey roasted nuts.

4-      StandBys

The type of female who two weeks after you were locked up leaves you this message:

“You still in jail?”

Basically if you allow a standby on your pimp plane that means you are desperate or someone in coach decided another man has upgraded her to 1^st class on different flight (silly guy) and you have room to allow someone on.

You know you shouldn’t even be dealing with a standby.  She isnt’ good for you and there is a reason she isn’t on the plane (she stabbed her last boyfriend).  But you keep her around just in case because sometimes you just need someone to fill a seat.

*******

So remember Fellas always be aware of who you are allowing on your Pimp Plane and make sure they are seated accordingly.  That way you assure yourself a safe flight and some Mile High Club Lamp Breaking.

The Dean is out, class dismissed.