New Year’s Eve, the biggest night of the year for couples. There is a saying that whoever you’re with on New Year’s Eve is who you will be with for the rest of the year.  New Year’s Eve does not lie; it is the night that will tell the truth. How’s this; So you think he’s your man? You’ve been hanging with him many days and nights throughout the year. You both have had so much fun and good times.  Yes there have been days that he has been MIA, but there has always been a good reason or excuse. The man is busy, he’s a business man; athlete; entertainer and/or he has so many family obligations. Maybe he has a baby mama which means he has kids. Now we all know that he’s such a great father so he spends so much of his time with his children. You can’t even try to deny him that. Oh, and how selfish you would sound if you dared to question his time with his children. (he’s probably still hitting the mama, I’m just saying)

Well, let me share Crystal’s story. She’s been dating Ben for 3 years. Ben is an executive for a large bank. Ben is a bit older than Crystal and he’s divorced for about 8 years. He has an adult daughter in college. Ben also travels quite a bit which Crystal has joined him on several occasions.  She’s even accompanied him to one of his company Christmas parties (Wow, that’s special). Ben and Crystal usually touch bases everyday and they spend time at each other’s home. Ben speaks of how one day he’d love to settle down with Crystal, but…

Crystal has a seven year old daughter from a previous relationship. The father is very much in his daughter’s life, but it has never caused a problem for Crystal and Ben hooking up. Well along comes the new friend Lexi who has no problem calling things as she sees them (Well she asked).  Now Crystal begins to look at this relationship as it really is. Ben has never, in three years spent any quality time with Crystal and her daughter together. Says he’s not ready to play a role in her daughter’s life just yet. Crystal also see’s that her and Ben have never spent a full day together on Christmas and maybe only half of all the other holidays have they been together. Ben would always be traveling or needing to share his time with his aging father and his lonely divorced sister, both of which she has met before.

It’s about three weeks before New Years and Ben has not made any conclusive plans with Crystal and she’s beginning to wonder what is really going on with this relationship. Am I really his lady? Does he really want to move forward with us? Why hasn’t he ever spent any time with my child if he really wants a future with me? So many questions with no answers.

Well she asked my thought and I gave her this. “Barring any legitimate reasons, If he is not with you on New Year’s Eve, He Is Not Your Man”. (for all my critics, there are a few exceptions, but in general this is true) I have seen this statement come true for so many ladies, so sad.  Trust me, I know many men who have a way of leading Double Lives the whole year, but when New Years Eve comes around The Truth Will Set You Free.

For Crystal, about five days before New Year’s Eve, Ben called and said that he was going to take his father and sister to Vegas of New Years. That his family had a bad year and he wanted to do something special for them. Poor Crystal was too hurt to ask why she wasn’t included in the plans. Plans which probably were made long before then, Hell she couldn’t guarantee if he really was taking his dad and sister to Vegas. Now Crystal is thinking about the last two New Years Eve, she and Ben were not together for either one. Hmm, he always had some convenient excuse.

Will you be with your “so-called man” on New Year’s Eve? If not, what is the excuse This Time? I’d pretty much say “He’s Not Your Man”.

What Are You Doing For New Year’s Eve