The Feline Chart For Women

The Feline Chart was first created by the legendary VThrilla, but has been tweaked into a Break Lamps philosophy.

This guide is a general reference on dealing with women at different stages of their life.  Once again it is just a guide not an absolute.  All women don’t women fit in.  Some are more or less mature, so be aware.

This guide is perfect for men ages 18-40 without further ado here is the Feline Chart:

BLACK CATS: 25 YEARS & YOUNGER:

What are black cats associated with?

Bad Luck

If you are dealing with black cats it is quite likely it will end badly.  When women are in the early 20’s they just don’t know what they want.

They can also be a bit crazy, obsessive and emotional.  Black Cats are the ones who go Tiger Woods’ wifey on your car.  They are the ones who blow up your phone.  They are the ones who don’t take the break ups to well.  They are also the easiest ones to manipulate.

If you are a 30+ year old man you should try to avoid black cats because for one you can’t keep up with them and secondly you are at two different mental levels.

If you are 25 years old and below I understand you have to deal with them, but just be careful and if you can find an older woman go for it.

PUSS N BOOTS: 26-29 YEARS OLD

Puss N boots women are coming out oftheir Black Cat stage and is a bit confused about where she goes from here.

Does she want to be the 28 year old in the club every weekend with the Black Cats?

Does she want to get married and start wearing capris everyday?

They are sort of in limbo and you will get a lot of bitterness.  The reason being they have been done wrong in their Black Cat stage by men and are angry.

You will find a lot of Puss n Boots females claiming abstinence or being born again virgins.  All that means if they are go through there “I don’t need a man stage.”

Don’t worry they come out of it.

WILDCATS: 30-39

For any man 25+ years of age this should be your preferred group.  Their Black Cat stage should be long gone.  They still know how to kick it, but pass the nohoing stage.

The bitterness of the Puss n Boots stage has worn off.

They are totally in tune with who they are and what they want.  They have become experts at Breaking Lamps.  They are intelligent and independent.

They don’t need a man, but appreciates a good man.

Did I mention they are experts at Breaking Lamps?

They aren’t about playing games and not about dealing with “boys” all about dealing with “men”.

Cougarlicious: 40+

If the Wildcats are like “Luke Skywalker”, the Cougars are like “Yoda”. If you can find you a prime Cougar consider yourself a lucky man.

Now the key word here is “PRIME”.

Alas time is not kind to some Cougars and they start to look a little like Martha Stewart, but if you can find one who has taken care of herself, you are in business.

Her lampbreaking skills should be on a higher level you are use to especially if you are 30 and under. If her body is in good shape normally their bank account is in good shape as well.

Cougars will go after what they want, most of the time in a matter of fact fashion and discard you when they are done with you, so don’t be a sensitive guy in dealing with Cougars.

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Now as I stated before there are Black Cats who act like Wild Cats and Cougars who act like Puss N Boots, so this isn’t an absolute, but the question begs where you fit in the chart ladies.